Grateful Journal

Ireland and Scotland Vacation

We are leaving for Phoenix this morning, dropping my brother off for his flight home, and flying out ourselves for a couple weeks in Ireland and Scotland! I'm psyched!!

Highland Games with Mom and John

I wanted to come visit Mom in her new home, so she proposed I come now, during the NH Highland Games and Festival. We get to listen to some great music, watch some insane sport events (not golf, Dad's favorite pastime, but the caber toss!), and eat some weird food (haggis and a gigantic strawberry shortcake). After Dad died, Mom added a paver stone for Dad at the Scottish Standing Stone, so I am able to visit this memorial as well. Mom says this festival is not the same without him, and she is realizing this may be the last time she wants to attend. I'm glad I get to experience it with her this final time, I'm honored she wants to share this piece of her history with Dad with me.

Grateful Journal Entry

My husband Carl, who with the guidance and support of our therapist, figured out, a couple years ago, that I was caught in a Stockholm victim situation, and probably saved my life by placing faith in me and patiently waiting for me to figure it out for myself.

Far too long since my last blog entry!

It’s not that life hasn’t been busy!

We’ve been to Ecuador to see the Galapagos, the rainforest, and Quito over Christmas and New Years Eve...

...been to many Tucson Symphony Orchestra concerts...
...seen Lily Tomlin...
...had another birthday...
...helped a friend get a staffperson of the year award...
...been elected to the board of our Homeowner’s Association...
...continued playing Gamelan...
...finished the pool construction...
...started planting and landscaping the backyard now that construction is completed...
...built a new cluster for processing video and audio at work...
...rejoiced that national healthcare passed...
...been bowling with neighbors...

but even better, Susan arrives tomorrow! I Can’t wait!

Peace,

Gregory

At Hospice with Carls' Mom

I am at hospice with Carl's mom. She is completely aware. I can tell from her eyes that she understands everything said in her vicinity. I can ask her questions and she nods or shakes her head... but she has a hard time speaking. Every word is a struggle. Once I said 'you must be so damn frustrated like this' and her eyes got smile wrinkles and she nodded her head vigorously.

She dozes a while, then wakes up and tries to talk a bit, then gives up in frustration and dozes some more. Every once in a while she'll reach for my hand. I am trying to sit where she can find my hand easily when she wants to.

I went outside and called a friend to chat a bit. They have gardens here with savia all over the place. Hummindbirds are in heaven buzzing around all the salvia bushes, then sitting in nearby branches and squawking in their almost electronic sounding high pitched chirps. I picked a piece of salvia and went back inside to give it to her.

Ruth became animated. She held the salvia to her nose several times. She pulled my sleeve and I bent over and she quite clearly said 'I want you to have a good time.' I could tell the 'you' was Carl and me.

I grabbed my coffee off the table next to her bed and walked out to the nurses station to chat and take a break. I told them she could talk. They seemed surprised.

I went back in to grab my laptop so I could do some work. She seemed to want to talk again. I leaned over with my ear to her and she laboriously whispered 'I can't believe that this is happening,' then 'I can't believe ------...' she struggled with the last word several times then gave up in frustration, saying 'OK, apparently that word is not in our language.'

Grateful Journal

Mountains
Cactus Flowers
George Bright
Sunlight
Being a Geek!
Apple’s Invitations

Grateful Journal

After work social time with Catherine, Limell, and Melanie
After work social time with any coworkers, actually! What a cool bunch!
The beautiful ecology and wildlife of the desert.
Kathy Bayham.
Bumping in to old friends on Facebook.

Grateful Journal

that Carl’s shoulder surgery went well
for my sweet cats Ga’peh and Cha’peh
a day off
pool parties at Bruce and David’s
visits with Jim
beautiful cactus flowers in the yard
living in a neighborhood surrounded by mountain views
neighbors for change gathering last weekend
key lime pie
ice cream

Grateful Journal

healthy dialogue arising from difficult conversations, such as
this article from the WSJ the other day
Glo and Jo, who worked tirelessly for equal rights when I lived in Santa Fe
wedding invitations
the support and love of family and friends

Grateful Journal

...coffee with Kathy
lunches with Kathy and Mike
Angelique Kidjo’s music
gifts
family photos
safe zones
fast computers
my year in the College of Education
water...

Grateful Journal

Grandma used to keep a Grateful Journal, which I have never seen and would love to someday! I’ll have to ask Dad about that. Anyway, I have decided to start a Grateful Journal of my own. I am going to try to add to it at least once a week. Feel free to hold me to it if you see me slacking off. I’ll tag all entries as ‘Grateful Journal’ so they are easy to pull together as one large list as it grows. So, here’s a start. This is only a start!

...Mom, Dad, John and Susan
Carl
Grandma and Grandpa
Ga’peh and Cha’peh
Steven and Marla
Deloria and Thomas
Jim and Joseph
Kevin
Steve and Joy
limell’ and Catherine
famiy
friends
home
sun
Santa Fe
Tucson
teacup display Gandpa made me
quilts Mom quilted for me
photography on my wall from John
the afghan Susan knitted
flower sculpture on my mantle that Kevin made
the Armenian rug in our living room that reminds me of Carl’s heritage
old friends who make contact after years apart
work that I love
smart, fun coworkers who I enjoy seeing every day...